I recently drove past a sign posted on a tree near my house that said, “Forgiveness is the Ultimate Weight Loss”. It made me think about a woman at one of my keynotes who said she lost 190 lbs immediately after she chose to forgive her ex-boyfriend when the relationship ended. Wow, I thought, that’s some serious weight loss. “Well,” she said, “that’s how much he weighed.”
Too often we carry the weight of the wrongs someone has done to us. We hold on to the bitterness, hurt, anger, pain, and shame that weigh us down, hold us back and make life feel heavier and harder.
Overtime this heavy energy becomes toxic and poisons our spirit, fractures our soul and leads to discouragement and despair. One of my favorite quotes says, “Holding on to resentment and anger is like grasping hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who is getting burned.”
Life is filled with many past and future moments where people will say and do things that offend you, hurt you, anger you and cause you to hold on to the hot coal with a desire to throw it at them.
Years ago, I took a trip from Florida to visit my biological father who lived in New York and chose to forgive him. It was after that moment of forgiveness that I was able to start writing books. Before then I couldn’t write. After that I’ve written over thirty books. I had to let go of the old to create the new. I had to forgive and remove the sludge in my pipelines so my purpose could flow through me.
I wish I hadn’t held on to the resentment and pain for so long. I could have become a better husband, father, writer a lot sooner. I could have grown a lot more…faster.
That’s why I want to encourage you to stop holding on to the coal, let go quickly and engage in the habit of forgiving fast. The faster you forgive the sooner you will grow!
Do an inventory of your past hurts and wrongs. Ask yourself today who you need to forgive. Who are you still angry at? What negative experience are you still thinking about? You may not even realize that you are still angry with someone until you really think about it. Think about who or what is holding you back. Choose to forgive fast right now. The person you may need to forgive might even be you.
Going forward when someone does wrong you, don’t hold on to the hot coal and don’t throw it at that person. Forgive fast knowing it will help you move forward sooner and elevate your life in a greater way.
This doesn’t mean you condone what they did or allow them to continue doing it, but it means you don’t hold on to what they did. The person you are forgiving doesn’t even have to be alive or accept your forgiveness. But by forgiving, you release yourself from the prison of your pain and past and you move forward feeling lighter, freer and focused on creating a great future.
Lead Positive,
-Jon
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